I am so excited to welcome you to the last part of the 7-part series Building Self Love For Perfectionists.
We have been on a journey of self-love together. The objective of this journey has been to help you strengthen your internal belief that you are more than enough.
The obstacles to self-love we covered in this series are as follows:
The 1st obstacle to loving yourself is a negative self-image.
- I shared that the modern definition of self-love is: a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Therefore any attitude you adopt that does not support your physical, psychological and spiritual growth is unloving.
- Self-love is an essential healing process to help you get unstuck confidently and boost your self-esteem. Therefore, to combat the build-up of a negative self-image, you need to start growing in compassion towards yourself.
- I shared five steps you can take now to build a positive self-image and identity.
The 2nd obstacle to loving yourself is the reluctance to understand yourself at a deeper level to grow in awareness of who you are.Â
- You learnt that it is ok to show vulnerability because it is liberating. Showing vulnerability allows you to open up your heart more, build self-love and heal the tendencies that make you a perfectionist.
- To this effect, you were to answer two questions that would help you be honest and authentic to yourself and others:
- What does showing vulnerability mean to you?
- How would overcoming the fear of vulnerability set you free?
The 3rd obstacle to loving yourself is the wrong view and the belief that self-love is egotistical or selfish.
- I invited the Amazon International bestselling author, Wendy Firmin Price, to join me to discuss this topic. It could not be more timely since she’s just released her new book: I’mperfect As I am: Break free from the prison of perfectionism to a whole new level of self-love, self-acceptance and self-confidence.
- Wendy shared her experience with self-love and perfectionism. We both agree that self-love is not selfish but liberating. It liberates you from self-sabotage, suffering and negative patterns where you sink deeply into a spiral of put-downs and ‘never good enough.’
The 4th obstacle to loving yourself is low self-esteem or self-worth.
- As raised by Nathaniel Branden, the father of the concept of self-esteem, self-esteem raises the question of your appropriateness to life and the requirements of life.
- In other words, when we have low self-esteem, we do not believe we are appropriate to life and its requirements. As a result, we feel inadequate; we question our self-worth and ability to meet life’s requirements.
- There is no doubt that you need to grow in self-awareness to feel more appropriate to life. I remember going through this phase of the dark night of the soul where I questioned the meaning of life and asked God: "Why am I here?" So I fully understand if you are going through a phase of self-doubt and inadequacy.Â
In your darkest moments, you get your most powerful breakthroughs. Therefore, you have a conscious decision to make, which is to become a better observer of your behaviour patterns, and through this process, you can start to honour your true self.
The 5th obstacle to loving yourself, you are about to discover, is the fear of rejection.
- I covered here the need for perfectionists, who seek approval and tend to be co-dependent, to act in a certain way to get love from others and feel accepted. I shared Marci Shimhoff's quote: “When you lack self-love and worthiness, performing for love is the only way to get love."
- The answer to the fear of rejection is an increased ability to accept yourself more. Self-acceptance requires opening your heart to receiving love, counting your blessings and acknowledging your divine nature and power.Â
- You learnt, also that self-love is self-understanding.
The 6th obstacle to self-love for perfectionists is a lack of self-compassion.
- Self-compassion is sympathy directed towards you to end your suffering.
- To increase your self-compassion and build happiness, you must adhere to the belief that your true well-being and happiness do not depend upon any external factor but on how you feel deep inside and who you believe you are, in truth.
- Once you take control of your happiness from the inside out, you build self-love unselfishly and unconditionally. You were born to shine.
- I share five steps you can take to increase your self-compassion and build inner happiness.
What is the 7th obstacle to self-love for perfectionists?
The 7th obstacle to loving yourself more when you are a perfectionist is the resistance to doing the inner work. I started the most important thing at the end of this series basically. 🙂
- As you know, personal success is 95% mindset. Consequently, the most significant transformation is inner transformation or transformation from the inside out. In other words, you will experience great results when you say YES! to doing the inner work so that you improve the quality of your life.
- When you have low self-esteem, self-acceptance is a work in progress. And it is worthwhile.
- Embrace your imperfections, and work on improving your shortcomings for continuous growth. Like plants and due to their true nature as spiritual beings, human beings need to continue to grow in awareness.
- As you carry on growing in awareness, you show up as your true self and stand in your power and light.Â
I hope you enjoyed this series of articles on the topic of self-love and that you experience breakthroughs and peace. Additionally, I hope you have made peace with yourself.
Remember, now is your time to transform your life one step at a time.
"You are the master of your boat, and I wish you to show up authentically with all your brilliance to live the most fulfilling and joyful life."
Key step to accelerate your success:
- Review all of the ways and tools you can use to increase your self-love so that perfectionism does not keep you stuck and impair your personal growth.
Note: If you missed any part in this series, please click on the relevant resources below to catch up or review.
Relevant resources:
Building Self-Love For Perfectionists Series - Part 6
Building Self-Love For Perfectionists Series - Part 5
Building Self-Love For Perfectionists Series - Part 4
Building Self-Love For Perfectionists Series - Part 3
Building Self-Love For Perfectionists Series - Part 2
Building Self-Love For Perfectionists Series - Part 1
The Gratitude Experiment - 7 Weeks Of Gratitude (Week 1)
Secrets To Increasing Your Self-Worth - Part 1
Secrets To Increasing Your Self-Worth - Part 2
Secrets To Increasing Your Self-Worth - Part 3
Secrets To Increasing Your Self-Worth - Part 4
Secrets To Increasing Your Self-Worth - Part 5
Learn My Three Tips On How To Raise Your Self-Esteem
Prescriptions For Self-Confidence
Free tool to accelerate your success:
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