This is Part 2 of the 7-part series "Building Self-Love For Perfectionists Series."
How did you get on with the steps I shared in Part 1 to build a positive self-image and identity?
Let me remind you below what the five steps are so that you keep taking action:
Step #1: Focus on what is right and great about you and stop looking for imperfections.
Step #2: Begin to appreciate yourself more by asking yourself this transformative question and keep the good enough concept in mind:
What do you love about yourself?
We all have qualities, and if you struggle with this, you can ask a family member, friend or colleague for help.
Step #3: Instead of putting yourself down, start to experience and acknowledge your victories and successes. This will boost your confidence and give you a sense of satisfaction and well-being.
Step #4: Practise the habit of praising yourself more and rewarding yourself each time you experience a victory. You are great! And like Les Brown says: “There is greatness within you.”
Step #5: Whenever someone praises you, practise the habit of receiving their praise with joy and an open heart.
In this series, you will discover what the obstacles to self-love are and how to overcome them.
The second obstacle to self-love for perfectionists is the reluctance to understand themselves at a deeper level to grow in awareness of who they are.
Perfectionists tend to self-sabotage; they are unwilling to feel and share their feelings when something is not quite right. Because they expect perfection in everything, themselves and others, they sweep their true feelings under the rug and pretend that all is well when they are in pain.
Perfectionists suffer emotionally in silence because they refuse to show any vulnerability. This agonising state is, therefore, the opposite of self-love or self-nurture.
Just imagine... you pretend that everything is well on the outside when you are suffering on the inside and put your sunglasses on because feeling your negative emotions or discomfort would mean that you are not perfect and there is something wrong with you.
This topic is very dear to me, and I am passionate about it. I had a significant breakthrough when I chose vulnerability over perfection. When I got over the fear of being vulnerable, I could open up my heart more.
Vulnerability does not mean that you are weak. It means that you choose to be honest with yourself.
Showing vulnerability and being honest with myself meant that I acknowledged my feelings for what they were to build self-love and heal the tendencies that made me a perfectionist.
When you acknowledge your feelings and discomfort, you grow in self-awareness. And as a result, you get better at loving your authentic self. I am sure you can relate. What seemed uncomfortable, at first, became comfortable because I was willing to look at it and even share it. Remember that emotions are just energy in motion.
We all have wounds that need healing, and you do not have to suffer in silence. The first commitment for inner healing is, to be honest with yourself and solve the problems that perfectionism and lack of self-love can cause. Self-love does require honesty first.
If you want to build self-love, you need to open your heart to honesty. It is difficult to heal a wound if you do not sense that it needs healing in the first place. You could live your life blindly for years. However, if you are reading this article, it means you are ready to open up your heart honestly.
I get you, and I am 100% for your happiness.
Here is my solution to the second obstacle to self-love: Speak your truth; to be authentic to yourself and others, you must show vulnerability and not hold it back.
Take some time now to self-reflect and answer these two powerful questions:
Question 1: What does showing vulnerability mean to you?
Question 2: How would overcoming the fear of vulnerability set you free?
You cannot experience the miracles of inner transformation for inner peace, joy, love and happiness if you do not recognise the signs of your self-sabotage and do something to solve it.
The best thing you can do to build self-love is to be true to yourself.
I want to end this article with this transformative quote from the author Brene Brown:
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
Key steps to accelerate your success:
- Take some time now to self-reflect and answer these two powerful questions:Question 1: What does showing vulnerability mean to you?
Question 2: How would overcoming the fear of vulnerability set you free?
Relevant resources:
Building Self-Love For Perfectionists Series - Part 1
The Gratitude Experiment - 7 Weeks Of Gratitude (Week 1)
Secrets To Increasing Your Self-Worth - Part 1
Secrets To Increasing Your Self-Worth - Part 2
Secrets To Increasing Your Self-Worth - Part 3
Secrets To Increasing Your Self-Worth - Part 4
Secrets To Increasing Your Self-Worth - Part 5
Learn My Three Tips On How To Raise Your Self-Esteem
Prescriptions For Self-Confidence
Free tool to accelerate your success:
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